Hi im running for student council and my speech is pretty bad and due tomorrow, any help?!?!?

  Hi, im sophie %26amp; I'm running to be a student council


representitive. I'm going to be myself in this speech %26amp; not try to


sound like some kind of serious adult because we already have a bunch


of them at our school represeting us already. Our student council has done so


great in the previous years, however i think that our student council


needs some refreshment. In my opinion, i think that we should get new


first-year student council representivites like myself because if you


all chose the same people as last year, whats the point? School will


be exactly the same..


          I mainly want to be a representitive for student council


because i really want to help our school be better for all of us. First change on my list would help all of us? A suggestion box. I know some of the kids at our school would be nervous to talk to me, saying that I'll be one of the 8th graders haha, so if you don't talk to me directly I'll assume your suggestions will be in the box. I could list of all my ideas for changing things, but instead i want to know yours.


         I'm really excited for next year %26amp; I know you are too. If your not, then we should probably do something to get you excited! We spend 5 days a week here at school, so we should make it as fun as possible. For the coming year I want to make our dances, field trips, and spirit days more exciting.


         I know that my responsibility and trustworthiness will be


great traits to bring to the student council. I am really good at


working in a group, but also as being a leader. As a lot of people know,


I'm really persuasive. We're a team, I'll help present your ideas to


the council as convinsingly as possible for all of our benifit. But it


sounds like we've got enough people that have "tons of leadership


experience, are responcible, and that are trustworthy" Personally, I'd


rather have a student council filled with people that have all different


skills.


My skill will be a little different from the rest. I'm really


creative and fun. Now that the field is going to be closing I think we need something to do at lunch so that our lunches could actually be amusing. I will do my best to create lunch time activities or ANYTHING for us to do because of our limited space. I can come up with these ideas by myself %26amp; take ideas from you guys. I'll actually talk to you about what you want to do with our school and do as much as i can to get it done.
           I don't think i should come up with ALL the decisions for our school. If i become part of the student council I'd want to get everyone involved


in helping out by sharing your ideas. Finally, WE get a say in the


decisions our school makes for US. I really hope you all make the right choice in voting for me. You won't regret it. Thanks guys, talk to you later.

Hi im running for student council and my speech is pretty bad and due tomorrow, any help?!?!?
Hi, I'm Sophie, and I want to be your student council


representitive. I am going tell you a little bit about myself.





Our student council has done very well in previous years; however, I think that our student council needs a refreshing change. A few new first-year student council representatives like myself can bring new energy and new ideas to our council. If we continue to choose the same people that we chose last year, then what's the point? School will be exactly the same.. I think we need a new approach.





I want to be a representitive for student council


because I really want to help our school be better for all of us.





What would be the first change on my list that would help all of us? A suggestion box. I know some of the kids at our school would be nervous to talk to me or talk to any student council member, but you can feel comfortable sharing your ideas through the suggestion box. I could list of all my ideas for changing things, but instead i want to know yours, and the suggestion box is a practical way for you to get involved in getting your ideas heard by student council.





I'm really excited about next year, and I hope you are too. If you're not, then our student council needs to find something interesting so that we can all be involved and excited. We spend 5 days a week here at school, so we should make it as interesting as possible. For the coming year I want to make our dances, field trips, and spirit days more exciting.


I know that my responsibility and trustworthiness will be


great traits to bring to the student council. I am really good at


working in a team, but I am also an excellent leader. Many who know me, know that I can be really persuasive. I want you to know that with me as your representative, you will be part of the team, I'll present your ideas to the council as convincingly as possible for all of our benifit. We already have many student council members with "tons of leadership


experience, responsibility, and trustworthiness" We need a student council filled with people with all different skills.


The one skill that I have that is different from the rest is that I'm really creative and fun. Now that the field is going to be closing I think we need something to do at lunch so that our lunches could actually be amusing. I will do my best to create lunch time activities or ANYTHING for us to do because of our limited space. I can come up with these ideas myself and take suggestions from you. I'll actually talk to you about what you want to do with our school and do as much as i can to get it done. I don't think one person or one small group should come up with ALL the decisions for our school. If I become part of the student council I'd want to get everyone involved by sharing your ideas. Finally, WE get a say in the


decisions our school makes for US. I really hope you all make the right choice in voting for me. You won't regret it. Thanks for your support.
Reply:First thing is that you have way too many "I's", you could definitely eliminate some. Also, maybe try to explain what some of your ideas are in a little more detail. I think it is great that you said that you would like to hear their ideas, however, you also need to let them know exactly what some of YOUR ideas are, and how you would put them into play. Good Luck!