Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Help...attracted to student but know I must preserve that boundary...what to do?

I am a graduate student teaching an undergraduate college course, and most of my students are, literally, very close to my age. For this reason, I have been taking extra precautions to maintain the utmost professionalism so as to enforce the student/teacher divide. Nonetheless, there is one student (three years younger than me) who has been rather flirtatious with me for much of the semester, and I think he likely has a crush on me (i.e. always shows up early, makes these little comments, puts tons of extra effort into all of his assignments, gives me lots of smiles...etc). Recently, I ran into this student outside of class time--at a Halloween street party when we were both dressed up--and it was very strange...like if we would have just met I probably would have considered dating the guy, but due to the circumstances I could not even think about it. Problem is, I think I am beginning to feel a little attracted to him as well...and I'm not sure what to do about it. Any advice?

Help...attracted to student but know I must preserve that boundary...what to do?
It's ok to let him know you're interested. But don't get into dating until the semester is over. Although it is not illegal, it is unethical and that can cost you your position. As long as he's not in your class, there's no reason you couldn't date. Take a friendly interest in him, but not too friendly.





After the final exam....ask him out for a drink :)
Reply:Wait til he is out of your class this semester and then go out with him.
Reply:Go out with him and keep it a secret
Reply:stay away have you watched the news lately?
Reply:Do NOT cross that line.
Reply:just tell him to wait till the end of ur class then u guys can maybe date


u can still date him ur an adult just wait its only 1month then hes all urs
Reply:Yeah dont get involved with this guy. It might ruin your career and you dont need that r ight now. wait till he graduated or just find someone that is not a student of yours.
Reply:I don't mean to sound flip, but it's called self-control. We all have the ability to stop yourselves from destructive behavior, whether it's taking the first drag on a cigarette, to dating a person and that action potentially ruining your career. Just wait until he's finished with the class, then, as long as you are no longer his instructor, whatever you do is fine.
Reply:talk to him about it. confront him about it without allowing him to see your feelings. only discuss his. and do it subtly while getting the idea across to see what its really about. cuz it could always be him sucking up to the teacher to guarantee a good grade. therefore, you should say something like, "are you naturally a very flirtatious person, or is it just me picking up on something that isn't there at all?" so yea. and go from there. and see how things unfold and i know you'd be able to use your good judgment and work the kinks out so that theres a full understanding between the two of you. whether it stay professional or have something quiet between the two of you. but yea. good luck.
Reply:Depends, how important is it for you to graduate? You didn't work so hard to get where you are, only to have it all taken away because of a crush. I think you know the right thing to do.
Reply:If you are a college student too, wait until the course is over. Don't touch!! After that you are both just students. Persue it slow. He might just want a better grade and is not really interested in you. Cynical I know, but a possiblity.





If you are an employee of the college, don't touch.





Good Luck
Reply:talk to him tell him that at this point as long as you are his instructor nothing can happen between the 2 of you. But who said that after the class is over that the 2 of you couldn't get together. Then it is no longer a teacher student relationship. But to be safe check out what the rules for the college says about this type of situation.
Reply:Girl, I thought you were a teacher of elementary kids, go for it! You're both adults, that's a plus! At least you're not a sicko like these grown-ups falling for children! I hope it works out! By the way, just ask if it would be okay for the 2 of you to have lunch sometimes. Good luck!
Reply:bone him and get it over with!
Reply:You obviously like the guy and he likes you as well. Wait till he is no longer in class and then you can feel free to date him. The boundaries are a good idea right now, but once he is no longer your student, feel free to follow-up on your physical desires!
Reply:dont go out with him as it can cost you your job
Reply:be careful he might be playing with you just to pass the class with a good grade, and besides you could lose your job... remember you are at your JOB not at a club picking up guys.
Reply:Try and leave the school 1st and then meet him. But first make sure he likes you
Reply:Your first instinct is correct. Don't do it. I'm sure your university has a no fraternization policy and it's not worth putting your career at risk to date someone.


No comments:

Post a Comment